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Weigh-In No. 6

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286 (27/04/13)

Quite the miracle (I didn’t gain any weight). Didn’t exercise all week, unless you count the 15 or so squats I did out of sheer idleness on Saturday…oh, and the 2 or so minutes I spent experimenting with some device of torture posing as a resistance implement that I saw my nephew with.

Like, I keep telling myself to snap out of it…to just get going, and it’s just not working. In some ways, it might be, but it is not going as well as I’d like it to. I’m realistic enough to not have expected anything great, but I have so much to work towards.

You know what? This is me we’re talking about. I’ve been at this for over a month…like, that’s historic. I’ve deliberately made the choice to keep going. Why am I just seeing this?

There is hope for me after all. Teehee. There is hope for all of us.

Fall, we shall…if we must…but this really is the rest of our lives. It has to be more than some experiment. It’s learning to live, one breath at a time.

This song… Thank God for people who are honest enough with Him to write such awesome stuff…(I cannot vouch for the accuracy of the lyrics. :P)

Weigh-In No. 5

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286 (20/04/13)

It’s going down again! Can I do better, though? Yeah. I don’t even mean in terms of the numbers, but just in terms of being consistent with exercise and clean eating. I have 5 exercise days (weekends are out), but I skip days all the time…not necessarily on purpose, but I could simply make the time later in the day (when my sister and I don’t get to walk in the mornings).

I think my favourite thing about this health journey is that eating healthy and being active is always beneficial. It always works. Sure, all of us don’t lose weight at the same rate, but if we keep choosing health, it’ll pay off in the long run, scale or no scale.

So, I’ll keep that in mind (and this cool pic I came across).

A Swift Kick…or Several…

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…exactly what I need. Okay, no…physical pain isn’t my thing, but it’s sooooooooooooooo easy for me to just…well, cave. I mean, I’m not in love with food, nor am I afraid of exercise. I’m just so used to all this that it’s hard to actively be involved in a process that gets rid of it. I’ve been trying to tell myself that I’ll still be me, but for me  to look different is for the picture of me  that exists in my mind to change. My mind needs pictures to work. Add my innate passivity to that, and the reality is less than pretty.

At my size, I don’t have to work hard to lose weight. A few relatively minor changes can yield significant results in the long run. Pushing or fighting for anything doesn’t come naturally to me, so if I’m not careful, or bold enough to cry out for help, I’ll be right back to square zero. I said I was doing this for my health, and I need to.

I’m grateful for the steps I’ve taken so far. In the same breath, I acknowledge that I have been inconsistent, and sometimes, I just don’t care. Being honest about it makes it harder for me to kid myself that I’m actually embracing this. It’s very much something I’m still adjusting to, still learning to accept…not just as reality, but as my reality.

Change is far from easy, especially for one as lacking in discipline as I am, but the words of some cool Roman emperor/philosopher have resurfaced from the confines of my memory (thank God for Google):

Aurelius

Because a thing is difficult for you, do not therefore suppose it to be beyond mortal power. On the contrary, if anything is possible and proper for man to do, assume that it must fall within your own capacity.

~  Marcus Aurelius

(That said, it is way past time I started that BeFit thing I keep putting off. Challenge definitely accepted.)

Weigh-In No. 4

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Well, miracles are still happening…either that, or my scale has a crush on me.

287 (13/04/13)

I’ll never know how I managed not to put on any weight last week, but I’m not complaining. I think I weigh less than that now, but I guess it’s because I’m hydrating properly.

This week has been going better, though. Not…perfect, but I’m being more deliberate about eating the right things…and not eating the wrong things. Still haven’t started my BeFit programme yet, but I’ve kinda been exercising more. Hopefully, there’ll be good news at the end of the week.

My morning walks (whenever they happen) have a good uphill portion. We changed the route a bit. This one is…super hard. I think I literally crawled part of the way. Good news is, I’m doing better. Like, duh, I still get out of breath, but I’m learning to push and speed up once I can breathe freely. Yay, me!

Anyway, no matter what the scale says, I’m doing what is best for my health (at least, I’m trying to). That, in and of itself, is all the victory I need.

So Glad It’s Over…

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cLIMB2

Sigh.

This has been one of the longest weeks ever. I had fallen behind on a deadline, and I just wanted to get my work over with. It took ages, but I managed to finish today…and I made very few healthy decisions this week. I guess I could say I didn’t have the time, but I could have found it.

Anyway, up and downs aside, the lessons were many:

  • There’s no guarantee that life will EVER slow down. I must make the right choices, even when–especially when–it’s hard.
  • Only in an ideal world will I readily have time to be different. I much choose to be different, each time the opportunity presents itself.
  • Life is never so hectic that my health must fly out the window…or be flung there, screaming. I must decide where my priorities lie.
  • Preparation is key. If I had taken the time to prepare healthy options in advance, I could have grabbed one of them whenever I needed a quick meal. I must be wise in my approach to change.
  • Discipline is hard. I’m no superhero,  and I’m not required to be. God is fully aware of my limitations, and He hasn’t given up on me…He won’t. I must admit I can’t do this, and take hold of a strength not my own.

To all you lovely people out there, who encourage me to keep going, just by representing well in your section of the blogosphere, thank you very much. All your stories and updates give me more drive to go on. Thank you for being true to the process. If you’re just starting out, welcome to club. We’ll do this. One step at a time.

Blessings.

Weigh-In No. 3

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Image

I’m not sure I have a steady number…had to average a few, but I’ll settle for 287. It’s actually more along the lines of 286, but 287 is…scarier.

I expected worse, considering how terrible last week was. Yay. So, yeah, still a busy week ahead, but I’m determined to restart my exercise thingy. Let’s hope the weather is kind, and I can get to walk in the morning.

This whole up-down thing is kinda fun. I’m learning what works…definitely learning what doesn’t…and I’m reminded that no good or bad week makes or breaks you. it’s whatever you do consistently that will win. 

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s raise our water bottles…to consistency. (If you wanna raise a glass of water, perfectly fine. Yeah, I’m flexible like that. :P)

One tiny step at a time.

Blessings.

Bracing Myself…

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Weighing

So, this has not been a great week at all. I’m honestly bracing myself for the weight gain when I check on Saturday. (Won’t ever be quite that high, but the point is made. 🙂 Love those black socks!)

I haven’t been eating healthily…not necessarily unhealthily either, just normally. That, coupled with no exercise, is going to almost guarantee that the scale won’t be my friend. I’ve been so busy, but I also have not used my time wisely. Cooking takes time I don’t have, time I don’t make. My family cooks healthily enough, but they’re not going to cook brown rice…nor cut down on salt…and they shouldn’t have to. It’s okay for them, but it’s not okay for me, and I haven’t been making my own meals. Definitely not drinking enough water.

The journey continues, though…step by step. I need to come up with a more efficient way to use my limited time…and I waste a good deal, honestly. I’m also terrible at eating or hydrating properly when I have a lot of things to do. I’ll just keep putting it off until a “later” that never comes. Getting that out felt good. 🙂

I have a tendency towards sabotage, but I have to stop it. I am not going back, no matter what the scale says. I may have to carry over this week’s challenge into next week (still not too late, though), but this is not the end.

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